more time with your partner

Invitation # 2 Give yourself a gift

Hi there,

Last week I invited you to connect–REALLY CONNECT with each person in front of you, every moment of your day.  I know this way of living changes things dramatically for people; there is no way that this shift doesn’t create some openings.  This week, as I promised, I have a new invitation for you.  And this challenge, if you choose to accept it, will be a huge gift to yourself.

My invitation to you is to go on a TV and movie diet for 90 days. You decide how many hours a week to watch–if any.  Maybe you will decide to go cold turkey and watch zero.  My husband and I are doing this and our commitment was no TV and one movie a week.  We made it for over two weeks but did break down and watch the Academy Awards; we counted that as our movie for the week.

Be committed but be flexible:  You don’t have to be harsh with yourself.  It’s about opening up the space for something new by making little  but powerful changes. Just make the commitment that works for you, push yourself a little, but make sure you feel good about what you commit to.  Maybe you don’t watch much anyways so going to none is no big deal.  If you tend to spend a lot of time watching TV, you might even start with just cutting a couple programs.  If you watch two, give up one.

Two Approaches:
 1)   Plan ahead:  Think about what you want to do with your extra time.  Is there a book you’ve not had time to even start?  Would you like to finally begin that project you’ve been thinking about?  Or maybe you want to join a group or club to meet new people.  How about spending time with your spouse or going out more so you might meet your future spouse!  


2)  Just let it happen:  Make no plans.  Just let it unfold naturally, and see where it takes you.  (This is what I opted for, and I have to say it’s been a mini adventure!)


My husband and I began this three weeks ago as part of several changes we are making in our lives this year.  We both have lived years of our lives without owning a TV in the past, so we have experience with the rewards.  This made it simply a choice to give ourselves something precious that we’ve been missing–extra time to do something more important to us than watch TV.   And we were not big TV watchers, but we did enjoy the occasional The Actor’s Studio, Through the Wormhole, and American Idol.  I was also a Parenthood fan and would tape it and watch it on a night my husband worked late.  What seems to happen is that you watch one show and then it becomes two, then three.  Turning on the TV can be the default mode rather than a more conscious decision.

How I’m doing with the challenge: I was completely TV free for more than two weeks–until the Academy Award–and went two weeks without watching a movie also.  My husband has joined me in this and it has been such a gift to ourselves AND to our relationship.  We have been talking about the specific benefits we are receiving, which are many.

Benefits:

  • One, we spend more time together in the evening reading, talking, and meditating.
  • We used to think that we were too tired to do anything but veg out and watch TV after 8:30 at night,  but now, we are excited to sit in silence and read or listen to music while we work on a project–which is what we are doing right now.
  • We both feel more focused and clear.
  • I noted the other night that I feel more of my brain free for so many other things rather than what Idol contestant got sent home.  In the scheme of my life, so many of those things really didn’t matter.
  • I also feel I have more time to just be with my own thoughts, my own projects, and my husband. 

In many ways I think TV, movies, internet surfing, video games and the like can be distracting from what’s really important in our lives.  They can be ways of avoiding just as drugs and alcohol can be.  Do you ever feel you self-medicate with TV?  I know I have done it myself.

So I invite you today to accept this invitation to go on a TV diet for 90 days, limiting or completely going without TV programming for 90 days.   Use the time as a gift to you and your partner if you have one.  Think of things that you can do to use this time in a way that will bring you more happiness and joy.

Take the challenge and reap the rewards:  Focus on YOU and be the star in your own show, written and directed by AMAZING YOU!
Be sure to share your experiences with others on my blog.

Next week, I’m inviting you to take the most important challenge ever for your relationship.

Love and blessings,

Pamela

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