love coaching

Five Secrets to Successfully Using the Law of Attraction to Manifest What you Want in Your Life

“We have to thank our partners our friends, everyone who shows up in our lives.  They are telling us what we believe about ourselves and showing us who we are being in the world.”  PRTatum

SECRET # 1:  RADICAL RESPONSIBILITY:  ACCEPT–100% RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR EXPERIENCES. The first secret is very basic to Law of Attraction practice, but one so many people overlook it or even deny.  We must accept radical responsibility–that is 100% responsibility–for what we experience, even when it appears to be the will of others or external conditions.

SECRET # 2:  UNDERSTAND THAT OUR DESIRES ARE NOT CREATIVE.  So what is?  Our consciousness.  And deep in our consciousness is our intentions, our beliefs and what we identify with.  OUR BELIEFS & IDENTITY INTENTIONS are creating our reality.  These can be conscious or unconscious.  Unfortunately people unconsciously intend all the time  and then have things show up in their lives and wonder, HOW DID I CREATE THIS?

SECRET # 3:  KNOW WHAT HAS TO CHANGE IS US.  We must change ourselves–at the level of consciousness in order to change what’s showing up in our lives.  We have to dig deep to discover our unconscious beliefs and identity intentions and then begin to replace them with conscious beliefs and intentions.  We don’t seek to change anything in the world, but instead, we change ourselves.  As the great Confucius wrote,“Great is the man who can overcome the world, but greater still is the man who can overcome himself, for he will have the world spinning on the palm of his hand.” 

SECRET # 4:  ALLOW THINGS TO HAPPEN RATHER THAN WILLING THEM TO HAPPEN.  We can run around the world trying to force this or tackle that to the ground, visualizing, chanting affirmations, etc. but usually we are met with failure.  Even our successes we achieve this way are short-lived.  Allowing is irresistible to the Universe.  When we move out of a state of suffering–trying to tackle everything we want to the ground–into a state of willingness, nonresistance, and peace, we experience a sense of joy.  Then the universe simply corresponds to who we are.

SECRET # 5:  THE LAW OF ATTRACTION IS NOT JUST A THEORY; IT REQUIRES PRACTICE.   It’s not enough to understand the basics of law of attraction theory.  We must practice it in a moment-by-moment way of deliberate creating.  (And BTW this LOA theory is supported by the New Physics, which you will learn about if you take my course.)

Most of us have spent our lives believing that the world is cause and we are its effect.  The new paradigm requires a shift in consciousness, where we transcend that belief and come to understand that evidence doesn’t show us what to believe, we believe and therefore we see the evidence.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

If you would like to learn ALL the secrets of the Law of Attraction, learn how to practice CONSCIOUS INTENDING on a daily basis, learn to uncover your unconscious self-limiting beliefs and identity intentions and re intend consciously what you truly want and receive it, please come join me for this powerful course.  I guarantee it will ROCK YOUR WORLD.

Starting Soon: Law of Attraction Foundations:  How to Manifest What You Want in Every Area of Your Life.   (A Six-Week Course)  REGISTER HERE

WHEN:  6-7:30PM, Wednesdays, July 11-August 15th

WHERE:   The Hub on Canal, 132 Canal Street, New Smyrna Beach FL 32169

TUITION:  $150.  Register with a buddy/friend for only $125 each
WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:

  • How and why the Law of Attraction works and how to use it to attract whatever you want in your life.
  • How to identify AND replace unconscious beliefs and identity intentions that are holding you back.  Those are the roadblocks preventing you from having what you want in your life.
  • How to become a conscious creator in every staging area of your life
  • How to stop letting past hurts or traumas hold you back
  • What you can have what you want in your life now!

And much more!  REGISTER HERE

During this course you can work on any or all of life’s four main staging areas:  Love & Relationship,  Money & Abundance,  Life Direction, Health & Wellness.  You will learn what LOA really is and how to practice it to receive the benefits.  You will have the added support of others on the same journey which is very powerful. You will receive individual assistance from Pamela during class if you want it.   You will also receive email support from Pamela and lots of love!This course is going to show you how to attract what you want, who you want, effortlessly!

I look forward to seeing you there!

REGISTER HERE 

Pamela

Fight or Flight or Something Else

Two weeks ago I wrote about how to work through disagreements without fighting which included several steps to stop the craziness that can ensue when people get triggered.
Today, I want to begin by explaining what happens physically and psychologically when we are triggered and invite you to take action to change that pattern.

When we are triggered, we go into “fight or flight” mode.  According to Neil Neimark, M.D., “the ‘fight or flight response’ is our body’s primitive, automatic, inborn response that prepares the body to ‘fight’ or ‘flee’ from perceived attack, harm or threat to our survival.”  

When our fight or flight response is activated, adrenaline, cortisol and 30 different hormones are released into our bloodstream and our bodies experience a series of very dramatic changes. Our breath gets shorter, our veins constrict to send more blood to our limbs and major muscle groups so that we are prepared to fight or escape.  Our  awareness of our surroundings intensifies; our pupils dilate to take in more light and sharpen our sight.  Our impulses quicken and we focus on the big picture.  We are no longer able to see details or subtleties.  Almost everything in our immediate environment at this moment is perceived as a threat, and our bodies are prepared both physically and psychologically to find the enemy and either fight or flee.  

Millions of years ago the fight or flight reflex served us well.  We needed that burst of adrenaline rush just to survive.  It came in quite handy when we needed to grab the baby and run for our lives from the saber tooth tiger.

Although we rarely need this mechanism in our lives today, this ancient response is being activated frequently and is untouched by our evolution psychologically and spiritually.  When our fight or flight system is activated, we still tend to perceive everything in our environment as a possible threat to our survival. And we react that way, as though it’s life or death.   Our rational mind–where our logic and reason reside–is bypassed and we go straight into attack mode.

The answer is to recognize when we are triggered and to be able to stop ourselves in our tracks BEFORE we move full force into ‘fight or flight” mode. To do this we need to use the moment between stimulus (the immediate cause of our upset) and response–that tiny bit of time where we can still have a rational thought–to recognize what’s about to happen and then, change the course.  
If we take that moment and realize that we’ve been triggered and that we are about to move into “fight or flight” mode, we can–if we train ourselves–take a step back and shift ourselves back into our rational mind.  It helps if we immediately focus on changing our breathing to long and deep.  Then we can mentally recognize that we are in no danger.  It also helps to take a moment to force ourselves to see all the details of where we are and whom we are with.  See the reality of the situation.  Usually we are with someone we love and care about and the last thing we want to do it hurt them.  We may be feeling hurt in that moment, but if we step back and realize that this person loves and cares about us, we know they are not intentionally hurting us.  Try to give your partner, family member, or friend, the benefit of thinking that although they may have hurt you, they have not intentionally done so.  When we assume the worst, we allow ourselves to go into fight or flight mode and to react without thinking.

What you do when you are triggered determines the quality of your life and your relationships.  If you react with raised voice, anger, stabbing words, the joy and peace you find in your life will be very limited.  If you run away and shut down each time, you will be equally disappointed at the quality of your life and relationships.  If you decide to take the third option: not fighting, not fleeing, but going inside and stopping that “go to battle or run like hell” response, you will dramatically increase your joy and peace.

I invite you to begin today to train yourself to move from your instinctual, animalistc iresponse to a more spiritual and thoughtful one.  One way to increase your ability to catch yourself before your move into fight or flight mode is to spend time in meditation and/or quiet reflection each day.  Take some quiet time to walk, to be in nature, to sit in a hot bath–whatever works for you.

Just being with yourself and feeling your connection to the divine really does help so much because when we feel our oneness with everyone on the planet, we understand that we are not here to battle.  We understand that what we negatively project onto others is a reflection of our own perceived inadequacies about ourselves.
Try taking some quiet time each evening to process your day and a few quiet moments each morning to imagine and intend the peace and joy you want for your day.  If you do, you will find that it’s so much easier to find restraint when you get triggered, and it will be so much easier to take the third road.  Rather than fight or flight, you will take the road that leads to peace, to joy, and to fulfillment in all of your relationships.

Valentine’s Day Ideas: 11 Ways to Rock His or Her World

Happy February!  The love-fest month is here…  

Valentine’s Day is rapidly approaching… As you’re thinking of gift ideas, remember that gifts requiring time and imagination and that come from the heart say the most.  So this year, why not say, “I Love You,” with a little more heart by infusing your gift with some creative sparkle.  Here are simple ideas, most of which cost very little, but they say so much because they require more from you besides your money; they require your whole heart–or at least a little piece of it!

1) PLAN A SURPRISE DATE: Plan a surprise date. Then give your lover a card that tells only the day, time and how to dress; everything else is kept secret.  If you feel like really making a statement commit to planning a surprise date once a month for the entire year!   Try to make the date(s) unique, things that we hadn’t done before.  It’s a great way to have new experiences together, which is uber important for keeping the relationship fresh and fun!

Ideas: A picnic (elaborate or simple) in a special location; an overnight trip to a town you haven’t been to before; his/her favorite performer in concert; a couple’s workshop.  The ideas are endless.  A wonderful idea–which my husband and I did one year, is to give each other this gift and take turns; one month you plan everything and the next month your partner does. You can even blindfold your partner while driving to the destination.

2) A YEAR OF SWEET SOMETHINGS:  Give your lover a card explaining that your gift will be 365 love notes, one each day for the entire year.  Buy a pretty box and place it by your lover’s bedside.  Find a package of assorted scraps of beautiful paper in the scrapbook section of your local craft store or go to a scrapbook specialty store.  These so called “scraps” are the perfect for love notes and letters.)  You can also use colored gel pens of various colors to pen your love letters.

Each night for the entire year, you will put a love note in the box. Your partner will “check the mail” each night in anticipation. What a treat to read your sweet, loving, sexy, creative love note on a different kind of paper each night!  

I did this for my husband a few years ago, and I have to say it became a wonderful bedtime ritual.  He even began writing love notes to me and placing them on my pillow!

3) YOUR YEAR IN COLLAGE:  Take photos from the last year and make a collage.  Collecting your favorite memories into a collage, framing and hanging it doesn’t take that much time, but think of the joy that will be added to your lives every time you look at it.  Your lover will appreciate the gift all through the year.

4) FUN WITH FLOWERS: Give the gift of one beautiful flower for your lover every day for 365 days. If this seems like too big of a big commitment, try doing it for just do it for one month. Or perhaps on your anniversary day each month, you could bring your lover a beautiful bouquet.



5) MAKE A HANDMADE CARD:  Make a homemade Valentine. Buy romantic paper, find some gold hearts, ribbon or lace.   Use gel pens, paints or colored pencils.  Use your imagination and have fun!



6) SERENADE YOUR LOVER: Make a tape singing a love song to your lover. You can find a local studio that will record it for you and even provide you with the music. OR just sing a cappella and do it at home.

7) INSPIRED POETRY: Compose a poem for your lover on beautiful paper. You can even write it in calligraphy. (Or, you can cheat and use pens that give the look of calligraphy.)  Another idea is to use your computer and print it out with fancy type.  You can get more fancy and frame it.  If you’re not much of a writer, try using a famous poet’s love poem.
Some poets of famous love poetry include, Edna St. Vincent Millay, Robert Browning, Elizabeth Browning, John Dunne, Kahlil Gibran, Rainer Maria Rilke, and Pablo Neruda.

8) THE GIFT OF TOUCH: Give the gift of touch by giving your partner a one or two-hour massage. Set the room with a scented candle and meditative, relaxing music. Use sensuous oil and make sure you get every single spot of your lover: from the earlobes to between the toes.



9) BUBBLE BATHS ARE STILL FUN: Take a long, sensuous bubble bath with your lover. Be sure to set the ambience: light a candle or two (or twenty ) and have some romantic music playing; put some lavender, jasmine or any favorite essential oil in the bath.

You might decide to forgo the bubbles and use rose petals instead. Once you’re in the tub, serve your lover: Wash your lover’s hair and entire body, and, well, use your imagination!

10) WRITE A LONG LOVE LETTER: Nothing says, “I love you,” quite like a romantic love letter.  Write a long, expressive love letter to your lover on a beautiful piece of stationery. You might spray your perfume on the paper. Women, not only sign it with your name, but with a kiss wearing your favorite lipstick. Mail it a few days before Valentine’s Day so that your lover receives it on time, but write on it, “Don’t Open Until Valentine’s Day.

11) MAKE A LOVE LIST: Using beautiful paper, list all of the things that you love about your lover, all that you appreciate, even the little things. Consider framing it.

Although I’m not dissing ANY of the traditional gift ideas, the gifts people remember most are the gifts that require a true investment from the giver.  They require thought, creativity, planning, and a lot of heart, and they will speak more deeply to your lover’s heart than dinner and a box of chocolates.

Here’s to your best Valentine’s Day ever!

Love and blessings,

Pamela

How to Live an Extraordinary Life

On New Year’s Day my husband and I  were enjoying the quiet after the wonderful blitz of family holiday company.  We were thinking about our goals and how we would begin some new projects we’ve been talking about for a while.  During this conversation, my husband said something that struck me as truly important to share with you.  He said, “It takes considerable effort and dedication to live an extraordinary life.”

Since then, I have been thinking about what it really means to live an extraordinary life and how we can accomplish that.  I think above all it requires living consciously—consciously choosing how we spend our time so that we are moving toward fulfilling our dreams, living in alignment with our values and living with tremendous joy and peace in our lives.As humans we are such creatures of habit that if we are not diligent, we will focus on all the wrong things, and one day, we’ll be wondering why we didn’t do this and why we didn’t do that.

A friend of mine who once worked with the dying said something we’ve probably all heard, that patients he talked with on their deathbeds never spoke about regretting things they’d done; they only spoke about regretting things they didn’t do.

So it seems critical to take an inventory of our lives.  I ask all of you to reflect on these questions:

What are your dreams?

What do you really want to accomplish in your life?

What is it that you value most in life?

Where do you want to be in five years?  ten years?

What brings you the most joy and peace?

Being very clear about what you want, what you value and what your dreams are is important.  In the Law of Attraction work it’s well known that conscious creating begins with knowing what you want.

After reviewing your dreams and values, take a close look at how you’re spending your time to determine if you’re actually living up to those dreams.  Are you making conscious choices every day that bring you a little closer to fulfilling your dreams, or are you merely meeting what you have come to imagine are your daily obligations?  Have you actually thought about what you value in life and then consciously aligned your life with those values?  Are you planning to someday get to those things that will truly bring you peace and joy, or do you do things every day that bring you peace and joy now?  How rarely do we sit in quiet reflection pondering how we spend our most precious resource, which is our time.

After you’re clear on the above questions, I would like to invite all of you now to ask yourselves the questions that my husband and I asked ourselves this New Year’s day:

What one thing that could I begin doing consistently that would bring me closer to fulfilling one of my dreams?

What is the most important thing that I can begin today to live my life more in alignment with what I value most?

What one thing can I begin to do that would bring me more joy and peace right now?

Remember that these don’t have to be huge steps.  One of our joint steps that we felt would bring us more joy was to get ourselves out in nature more.  We set the intention of doing a camping trip or major outdoor adventure each month.  I also committed to completing one painting every other month over the next year.

Remember that the action steps you decide to take should be specific and you should indicate by when you want to accomplish them.  That’s the only way you know if you are achieving what you want.  For example, it’s better to say, “I’m going to complete one painting every other month,” rather than, “I’m going to paint more.”

As my husband said, it does take some discipline, but so does anything worth having.  If you take these questions to heart and spend some quiet time reflecting on them, and then consciously decide to do just three things, imagine the difference it will make in your life.  It’s important to do this a few times a year as our dreams can change, along with what we value most and what brings us joy.

If you make this process of reflection, re-evaluation and commitment a quarterly practice, imagine what you can accomplish in just one year.  When you make the commitment to make ‘someday’ now and everyday, there is a cumulative effect that happens, propelling you toward your dreams so that you actually reach them.  And when you know what you value and live in alignment with those values, and do what brings you joy, your life will be full of meaning for you.  You will be living an authentic life that is not based on other people’s “shoulds” or society’s expectations.  Your life will be your own conscious joyful and peaceful creation.  And that sounds like an extraordinary life!

Until next week, here’s a toast to you and your extraordinary life!

Love and blessings,

Pamela


The Time For Gratitude is Every Moment

Thanksgiving was a time for us to take stock of our blessings and all that we are grateful for in our lives.  I invite you to take time again to open your heart and truly appreciate all the ways in which you are blessed.   And I invite you to decide right now on this beautiful November day that a heart full of gratitude is the way to live each day of your life.

We spend so much energy focusing on what’s wrong, what could be better and what we don’t like.  We do this constant critical analysis out of habit, and some of us are wired in such a way to constantly see what can be better about just about anything.  I am guilty of this kind of wiring myself and have to be conscious to stay out of that critical mode.  Being conscious of our state of mind so that we can live as consciously as we can is our most important goal.  For each moment we live consciously, we have a choice of what we want to focus on, who we want to be, and how we want to respond.

If we live in a state of gratitude for all that we have to be thankful for, the universe responds with more for us to be thankful for.  And even when the things seem difficult, unfair, or too challenging, we can still be grateful.  Do we ever take the time to thank our bodies for all that it does do for us without our ever having to ask?  Do we thank God or Spirit for the sun that rises each day?  Do we think to thank our husbands, wives, lovers, friends, children for all the richness they bring into our lives every day?

We can choose to see our challenges too as opportunities to be brave, strong, persevering, and thankful.  If for nothing else, we can always be thankful for being human and having a choice.  How wonderful that we have the ability to choose how we want to show up in any and every situation.  I love the quotation–I believe it’s from Buddhism– “Pain is inevitable, suffering is a choice.” This is our greatest challenge, of course:  who we will choose to be when things are difficult, when we don’t get what we want or we get what we don’t want?  If we can remember to stay conscious, then we can choose to keep our heart open and be in gratitude, thankful for what is good, sweet and right in our lives, and then we can bear the difficult without suffering.

This Thanksgiving I hope you all had a heart of thankfulness for all your blessings.  Now I invite you to make time every single day to be in gratitude for all that you have to be thankful for.  And no matter what is happening in your life, be conscious of how you are showing up.  Make it your priority to live in your heart and remember what is good in your world.  Hold onto the vision of what you do want, and in consciousness, be appreciative of it even before you see it in physical form.  This is what manifesting is all about:  being conscious of what you’re focusing on and giving yourself to.  Give yourself only to what it is that truly pleases you, that is your heart’s desire.  Let everything else be there as an invitation to show the universe who you really are and what you are willing to have.

Love and blessings,

Pamela
PS  Hi there, Thank you for reading! This work is my heart, and I am thankful for you. Your appreciation of my work means the world to me.  Remember, if there’s ever a topic you would like to have me write about, just send me an email at pamela@empoweringlove.com.

And until next time, don’t forget to Empower Love in your life at every opportunity!

Get Pamela’s Complimentary MP3:

"Manifesting Your Soul Mate" a 15-minute guided meditation. You will also receive her Love and LOA tips every other week.

Click Here Now!