how to manifest love

Loving Yourself–Imperfections and All

“If we really love ourselves, everything in our life works.”

“Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.
– Louise L. Hay.

What does loving ourselves have to do with the Law of Attraction?  Everything, really, if we want love, success and happiness in our lives, it all starts with loving who we are.   This has been said so many times it has almost lost meaning for us.  But it is true that we must be able to find love within and for ourselves if we are to find love with another, have great relationships with our friends and family, and even to find ourselves in careers we love.  Everything really starts with loving who we are.

We have been so bombarded with media images of what’s sexy and attractive and what success means, that most of us at some level long to be something other than who we are.  We have been conditioned to see our imperfections and how we don’t measure up to the rich and famous.  This can become problematic when people secretly dislike themselves as they long for the perfect figure, perfect hair, perfect career, or perfect whatever.  Longing to be someone else or have a different life keeps us stuck where we are and unhappy.  Nothing positive can happen from this place.  However,  if we release all the desires to be someone else and love and accept who we are, we give ourselves the opportunity to blossom.

Acceptance and loving who we are allows us a safe environment for changing and growing.  We can’t change or grow from a negative, self loathing place or even a longing place.  We have to accept and love and then allow ourselves to become more of who we really are.  It’s like a child who is loved and nurtured can grow and blossom beautifully, but one who is constantly criticized and scolded shuts down and internalizes that anger and frustration at not being good enough.

As we struggle to love ourselves, it helps to grasp that it is our imperfections that make us perfect.  You are perfectly YOU, like no one else ever created.

I read an article about famous photographer who has photographed many of the world’s most famous beauties, including Marilyn Monroe and Sophia Loren.  He said that the most beautiful discovery he made when he photographed these beauties was realizing their imperfections.  That is what he would try to capture on film, their imperfections and vulnerability.  He did not try to give the illusion of perfection.  Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all learn to see our imperfections as our most beautiful parts!  What a concept.

My spiritual teacher Yogi Bhajan used to say, “The difference between you and me is that I love my faults.”  He said that we should not run from those parts of ourselves but learn to appreciate them.  It is only through acceptance and genuine appreciation that we can ever let go of something in ourselves that we wish to change.  As the adage states: “That which we resist persists.”  It is through appreciating all parts of ourselves that we can have total self love and thus really be open to loving another.  As another teacher of mine said once when I was studying acting, “The critic can never be creative.”  It’s good to remember that when we are busy criticizing ourselves, we are also stifling our creative energy, whether it’s energy for a project or for our lover or partner.

For the next week, try to find the beauty in your imperfections.  Try to find the parts of you that are flawed and see how they make you uniquely and perfectly you, vulnerable and beautiful.  See how loving these parts of yourself allow you to be a better lover and more accepting of your partner, your friends, everyone.  You may also notice how you become more attractive to others as you love and accept yourself.

I would love to hear from you about your struggle or your successes in this endeavor to love yourself, warts and all.   Leave a comment.

Have a wonderful week!

Love and blessings~


Say, “I Love You,” with a Little More Heart This Valentine’s Day!

Valentine’s Day is rapidly approaching. It’s best not to wait until the last minute to decide what to do for your special someone. Otherwise, you’ll end up doing the same old thing. Not that there’s anything wrong with the standard: dinner, flowers, card and chocolates. But why not put a little more heart into it and make your loved one feel extra special and adored? Remember, it’s the gifts that require time and imagination and that come from the heart that say the most. Following are some ideas that are simple and cost very little, but they say so much because they require more from you besides your money; they require your whole heart–or at least a little piece of it!

1) SURPRISE DATE: Give your lover a card and state that you’ve planned a surprise date, something they will know nothing about except how to dress. You plan everything and do all the work. If you feel like really making a statement commit to planning a surprise date for your love once a month for the entire year! Try to make the dates something unique that you and your lover haven’t experienced before or at least something very special. Ideas: an elaborate picnic in a special location; an overnight trip to a town you haven’t been to before; the opera; his/her favorite performer in concert; a picnic at sunset on a secluded beach; a couple’s workshop. The ideas are endless. A wonderful idea is to give each other this gift and take turns; one month you plan everything and the next month your partner does. You can even blindfold your partner while driving to the destination!

2) LOVE NOTES: Buy a pretty box and put it by your lover’s bedside. Give a card to your lover that says your gift will be 365 love notes, one each day for the next year. Find a package of assorted scraps of beautiful paper in the scrapbook section of your local craft store or go to a scrapbook specialty store. Provo Craft has a large package for under $15 called, “Paper Palette: Hand Crafted Paper by Artisans,” which is a wonderful assortment of romantic paper in various sizes. These so called “scraps” are the perfect for love notes and letters. Also be sure to use colored gel pens of various colors to pen your love letters. Then each night for the entire year, put a love note in the box. Your partner will “check the mail” each night in anticipation. What a treat to read your sweet, loving, sexy, creative love note on a different kind of paper each night. I did this for my husband year before last, and I have to say it became a wonderful bedtime ritual. He even began writing love notes to me and placing them on my pillow! It’s now become a fun thing we do to surprise each other now and then. But it is wonderful to do it every day for a year. Even if it’s after a squabble, it’s a great opportunity to apologize and say, “I love you,” and it insures that you don’t go to bed angry.

3) LOVE LETTER: Nothing says, “I love you,” quite like a romantic love letter. Write a long, expressive love letter to your lover on a beautiful piece of stationery. You might sprat your perfume on the paper. Women, not only sign it with your name, but with a kiss wearing your favorite lipstick. Mail it a few days before Valentine’s Day so that your lover receives it on time, but write on it, “Don’t Open Until Valentine’s Day.”

4) FLOWERS: Give the gift of one beautiful flower for your lover every day for 365 days. If this seems like too big of a big commitment, try doing it for just do it for one month. Or perhaps on the 14th of each month this year, you could bring your lover a beautiful bouquet.

5) HOMEMADE CARD: Make a homemade Valentine. Buy romantic paper, find some gold hearts, ribbon or lace. Use gel pens, paints or colored pencils. Use your imagination and have fun!

6) SERENADE: Make a tape singing a love song to your lover. You can find a local studio that will record it for you and even provide you with the music. OR just sing a cappella and do it at home.

7) POETRY: Compose a poem for your lover on beautiful paper. You can even write it in calligraphy. (Or, you can cheat and use stencils or pens that give the look of calligraphy.) Another idea is to use your computer and print it out with fancy type. You can even frame it. If you’re not much of a writer, try using a famous poet’s love poem. Some poets of famous love poetry include, Edna St. Vincent Millay, Robert Browning, Elizabeth Browning, John Dunne, Kahlil Gibran, Rainer Maria Rilke, and Pablo Neruda

8) TOUCH:  Give the gift of touch by giving your partner a one or two-hour massage. Set the room with a scented candle and meditative, relaxing music. Use sensuous oil and make sure you get every single spot of your lover: from the earlobes to between the toes.

9) BUBBLE BATH: Take a long, sensuous bubble bath with your lover. Be sure to set the ambience: light a candle or two (or twenty ) and have some romantic music playing; put some lavender, jasmine or any favorite essential oil in the bath. You might decide to forgo the bubbles and use rose petals instead. Once you’re in the tub, serve your lover: Wash your lover’s hair and entire body, and, well, use your imagination! 10) COLLAGE: Take photos from the last year and make a collage. Collecting your favorite memories into a collage, framing and hanging it doesn’t take that much time but think of the joy that will be added to your lives every time you look at it. Your lover will appreciate the gift all through the year.

11) MAKE A LIST: Using beautiful paper, list all of the things that you love about your lover, all that you appreciate, even the little things. Consider framing it.

The gifts people remember most are those given from the heart. They aren’t necessarily the most expensive, but they require the most investment from the giver. Gifts that require thought, creativity, planning; gifts that last all year; and things made by you speak a lot more deeply to your lover’s heart than dinner and a box of chocolates. And remember, the most important thing is to be romantic and have fun!

Here’s to you having the best Valentine’s Day ever!

Valentine’s Day For Singles: 11 Ways to ROCK Your World

So I wrote the Valentine’s Day ideas earlier today for people with a partner, lover, special someone… How insensitive of me to leave out all you single gals and guys out there.  Someone wrote to me this morning and said:  So what do us single ladies do for Valentine’s Day besides crawl in bed and pull the covers over our head and realize that no one loves you again…for the fifth valentine with NO love…”
So absolutely you don’t want to do that, because remember, what you focus on expands.  It’s a better idea to focus on loving yourself, your friends and your family and even strangers.  FOCUS ON LOVE since that’s ultimately what you want to attract.

1) GET INVOLVED LOVING OTHERS:  Giving love to others will take your mind off of yourself, fill your heart with love, and make you ever so grateful for what you have.  I recently went to a benefit for the homeless and discovered that there are so many more homeless right here in my town of New Smyrna Beach than I ever imagined.  

There are programs in almost every city for tutoring and mentoring homeless grade school, middle and high school students.  From experience, I can tell you that there is nothing more fulfilling.  How much you can help just by showing a person you care will astound you.

Another idea is to check out your local shelter and see what items they need, or just buy some items that all shelters need, like blankets, thick socks, flash lights, batteries, garbage bags, underwear, deodorant, band-aids, reading glasses.  Then drop them off in a large red bag on Valentine’s Day.

2) PLAN A SURPRISE DATE: This was as on my other list and it’s something you can absolutely do as a single person.  Plan a surprise date for a friend who is single OR plan a date for yourself to somewhere you’ve always wanted to go but haven’t.  Try to make the date, with your friend or yourself, unique and fun.

3) GO ON A DATE WITH YOUR SOUL MATE:  Here’s a favorite of mine and I did it quite often when I was single.  Plan a special date with your beloved.  Imagine that your soul mate is with you and treat the entire thing as your special date.  Go on this date and feel the presence of your soul mate with you.

4) HAND MADE CARDS:  Make some homemade Valentine’s for your nieces and nephews or grandchildren.  Buy some lacy paper, some gold hearts, ribbon or lace.   Use gel pens, paints or colored pencils.  Use your imagination and have fun!

5) SEND FLOWERS:  Is there someone you know who lost a partner last year, or a beloved parent or child?  Send them a bouquet on Valentine’s Day with a loving message.

5) INSPIRED POETRY: Compose a poem on beautiful paper for the lover you desire.  Imagine you already have this person in your life and you’re celebrating your 3rd or 4th Valentine’s Day together.  Imagine what you would feel and want to write to him/her.  Get into this as if it’s already current in your life.

6) THE GIFT OF TOUCH: Give yourself the gift of touch by scheduling an hour or hour-and-a-half massage at your local spa. Indulge and know that you are worth it.

7) BUBBLE BATHS are FUN FOR SINGLES TOO: Take a long, sensuous bubble bath being sure to set the ambience: light a candle or two (or twenty ) and have some romantic music playing; put some lavender, jasmine or any favorite essential oil in the bath.  Take time while in the bath to imagine life with your soul mate.  Imagine you already have everything your heart desires… What does that feel like?  Stay with those feelings and relish in them.

8) WRITE LOVE LETTER TO YOUR SOUL MATE:  Write a love letter to your soul mate on a beautiful piece of stationery. You might spray your perfume on the paper. Women, not only sign it with your name, but with a kiss wearing your favorite lipstick.  Keep this in a safe place and know that in the perfect Divine timing of the Field, your soul mate will appear in your life and you can give him/her this letter.

9) MAKE A LOVE LIST: Using beautiful paper, list all of the things that you love about your soul mate, the man/woman of your hearts desire.  List all the qualities that you appreciate, even the little things. Know that this person is coming to you and feel in your heart that you are merely preparing for his/her arrival.

10) ARTSY FUN:  Get out your paints and paint brushes, put on some romantic music and paint a love painting.  Let yourself just feel love for your soul mate and imagine how it feels to be loved exactly the way you want.  Then choose colors that you feel match what you’re feeling.  Forget about judgment, worries, and right or wrong.  Just let go and paint.
So if you’re single, remember that Valentine’s Day can be about loving and nurturing yourself, giving to others, and also about the powerful process of intending*.  All of these will help empower you to create the love and life that your heart desires.  Every time we give to others, we also give to ourselves.

Here’s to your best Valentine’s Day ever!

Love and blessings,

* to learn more about the INTENDING process to manifest love, check out either one of my eBooks in my bookstore.

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